a case study in awesomeness

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Current Posts

Feb 28, 2005

call the fire brigade

So tonight was an exciting night . . .

Sometime just after 10 pm, I get a call from Justin Sanford. It goes something like this:

Me: Hey man
Sanford: Hey. What are you doing tonight?
Me: Nothing.
Justin: Yeah, I just talked to Christina, and she said that UCC (University Christian Church) is on fire.

So, I head out, and McMillan is blocked with emergency vehicles. I call the Wentz's to make sure they were aware, and it turns out they were. I'm talking to Shannon, trying to fill her in on what I'm seeing. I get to the back door of the church, which was open, and all of the sudden, I just say "Oh my gosh." The back of the sanctuary was pitch black. It looked like the fire had started in the back corner of the sanctuary, close to where all of the sound equipment was. The smoke smelled like an electrical fire.

So, I get the the corner where about a dozen church memebers were standing and try to get filled in. But, at that point, my guess was pretty much the same as what everyone else was guessing.

So, things are still up in the air. We have to wait for the inspection to be completed to do anything.

So, keep us in your prayers.

Feb 25, 2005

big accomplishment

I finally beat the computer at pong last night.

Final score, 21-19.

It reminds me of the day when I won this t-shirt:

disturbing

Tonight on Leno there was this segment where he showed a bunch of stuff that was actually posted on Ebay. The audience would then guess whether or not the stuff actually sold or not. One of the items was a "Mysterious Magical Ouija Bowl." It was a bowl and 2 cans of alphabet soup, and apparently you could ask it questions like on a ouija board.

It turns out that the thing actually sold. For nearly $6,000.

Someone clearly needs to be slapped.

Feb 24, 2005

this one's for me

Typically, I try and stay away from the emo posts. Seriously, who wants to read a bunch of my whining. Anyone? That's what I thought. But, that's where I am right now. And, ultimately, I write this thing for myself, to chronicle some of my thoughts and to help me figure things out. So, tonight, this post is dedicated to just that.

You don't want to read it?? I undestand completely. Check this out instead.

Okay, now for the post.

I think I'm going crazy. Or maybe I'm just being melodramatic. But, lately, I've just been taking the biggest emotional and mental beating of my life. The hard part is that I can't really explain it very well. Imagine waking up every morning and this sense of fear coming over you. Not a really intense fear. Just something kind of vague. And you don't have any idea of what you are afraid of. But there it is.

Also, every moment I am alone, I just get nailed with self-doubt. It hits me on every aspect of my life. I'm usually one who needs some alone time, but lately it's just been burdensome. It's as if all of my past failures and all of my potential ones just stare me in the face.

When I end up in a large group, I just feel so lost. Not that I've ever been extremly outgoing, but something is different this time around. I never quite feel like I fit in, or that I belong. I can't explain it, because everyone is generally really good to me.

When I'm in a smaller group of friends, I'm much better, usually because I'm able to take my mind off of all of that other stuff for a while.

So I don't know, maybe it's something clinical. Maybe I'm just whining. Last night at Focus, we were talking about the lies that Satan tells us. On one level, I don't believe all of the ones I'm hearing right now, but I guess just the sheer volume is affecting me.

The problem is, I don't know what to do. Nothing in my life makes any sense to me right now. But I'm a leader. I'm in seminary. I'm supposed to be able to figure this stuff out. I can help people with their issues, but I can't even get my own act together.

This is normally the time when I would turn to prayer. The words would just flow out. But lately, for some reason, I can't do that. And it frustrates me.

So here I am, wandering around with my eyes closed, cluess, attacked from all fronts.

Nothing makes any sense . . .

Feb 23, 2005

the stupidest, most pointless post ever

So yeah, I'm to tired and lazy to do a real post tonight. Which is good, considering the emo mood I'm in right now.

So instead, well, here it goes:

So tonight, I'm searching in my fridge for the 16 slices of cheese that I bought the other night. I couldn't find it though. However, in the process, I notices something interesting. In our fridge, we have three of the 4 major types of milk. We have whole milk, 1%, and skim. All we are lacking is 2%.

Well, that's it. Great post, huh. Okay, here's a funny link.

Feb 22, 2005

my prayer placemat

Yesterday I was looking through our pile of mail sitting atop of our mini-fridge in the living room. As I sorted through the various junk mail, I noticed a letter that was addressed to "Our friend living at 2346 Victor St #2." On the envelope it said, "Two houses will be blessed, then it must be sent elsewhere." So, my curiosity piqued, I opened it.

This letter was very timely, because in it is the secret to sucessful prayer. As I read through the letter, I learned that there was a "prayer rug" that I needed to kneel on in order to well, get whatever I want. That's right, it's like finding a genie in a bottle. There was a brochure with testimonies of people recieving 50,000 dollars, and all kinds of good things.

Anyway, I notice that the envelop is much to small to be containing any kind of rug. Well, I found out how wrong I was. The third thing in the package was in fact the prayer rug, although it really looks more like a paper prayer placemat.

Anyway, the letter pointed out, timing is CRUCIAL to God. You have to perform the ritual exactly for it to work.

1. Go to a quiet room, where it's just you and God.
2. Kneel with both knees on the rug.
3. Make your wish, I mean pray for whatever.
4. When you are finished, put the rug into your Bible. If you don't have a Bible handy, you can just fold it up and put it under your bed.
5. The next morning, you need to fill out the response card and mail the rug back to St. Matthew's church.
6. Wait on your blessing!!

I feel kinda bad lampooning these people. I do think they are sincere, especially since they are not asking for money. Now, that may or may not be phase 2 of the operation, I don't know.

However, this thing is nothing more than a chain letter. It is supersitious, AND it promotes the prosperity gospel. Plus, it has the look of a Jack Chick tract.

it's no numa numa

But what is??

check it out

Feb 21, 2005

the results

The Ekhardt brothers, Bill, John, Ed, and Josh, and a contest among themselves: See who could make the best mix CD. Since Bill and Ed were making a trip to Cincinnati, and since the contest came out of Bill making me a mix CD, I was selected to judge the contest.

And so, the results are now in.

All of the contestents came through with really strong projects. However, as strong as they were, there was one that really stood out among the rest. And who was it, you may ask.

Here's a hint:

Be, be honest, be be be honest, be, be honest, be be be honest.

That's right. The winner of the 2005 Ekhardt Invitational Mix CD contest is . . .

Mr. Edward Ekhardt for "Eriq's Disq of Happiness and Sorrow'.

And this is after losing major points for the Dolly Parton cover of "Stairway to Heaven."

Feb 19, 2005

i want these t-shirts

quite the eventful night

So, the Victor House Haverdasheries debut was well, interesting. Luckily, I had the foresight to give Tommy a drum solo, in case the rest of the song wasn't too good. It wasn't terrible, but I think we achieved a high level of mediocrity. Still, we were better than Ashlee Simpson.

Anyway, tonight I was reminded that when you start a band, it's not the quality of the music that is important. It is the quality of the groupies. And well, we have the hottest groupies in the history of bands. Thanks to all of our supporters.

After open mic night was a trip to the anchor. Good stuff.

Then, the biggest event of the night was about 10 minutes ago. I was beginning this post when I heard yelling outside. Typical for this street. But, I walked to the window and noticed they were right outside of our garage. I looked and saw two guys starting to fight. So, I called Tommy over. Well, had it just been two guys going at it, it would have been pretty cool. But, it ended up being about 8 on 1. From 3 floors up, it was pretty sickening. Then a couple of guys jumped in, and after about a minute, it dispersed. The one guy was still on the ground, with two girls looking over him. So, Brent, Tommy, and I went out to check and see if he was okay. Well, after getting down there, I came to realize why he got the beatdown in the first place. I asked if he was okay, and he pipes in with, "12 guys on one, and this is all they could do." He was banged up, but okay. But, he kept on running his mouth. I'm pretty sure that's what started the whole melee in the first place. Seriously, I went from feeling bad for him to wanting to punch him myself.

Feb 18, 2005

the debut

Come by Rohs Street Cafe and see the debut of my new band, "The Victor Street Haversasheries."

It's going to be freakin awesome.

Oh and sorry about the last post. That was probablly the worst post ever in the history of blogging.

Feb 17, 2005

the singleness lament

*EMO ALERT . . . EMO ALERT . . . EMO ALERT* (I think you deserve fair warning.)
So finally, here it is, three days after Valentines Day.

I lament my singleness.

Really, I kinda like being single. Sure, there is definately a part of me that wants to settle down with that special someone and start a family and all that good stuff. Let's face it, I'm getting old. It's about time, right?? And, sometimes, well, I get lonely. I have a great group of friends and all that, but sometimes, well, you all know what I mean. We've all been there.

But, for the most part, I'm pretty content about it. The whole being free thing is, well, pretty cool.

Over the past couple of weeks, however, I've had a few converstations that have caused me great sadness (okay, that was overly emo.) The big issue is this:

It is so hard for a single guy to get a ministry position in an evangelical church.

Not impossible, but I know that has greatly played against me in my search for a ministry. And it really bothers me. First of all, it's just flat out unfair. Secondly, it's blatently unbiblical (cf I Cor. 7). And thirdly, the motives behind it are all wrong (I won't go into it here.)

And here's the thing: it totally messes with my head. It makes me want to go find someone so I can add that to my resume. That's just nuts. But, it's a reality. When I first had this conversation last week, my plan was to make up a girlfriend so that when I have interviews, I can tell them that I am dating someone really seriously, and then after they hire me I could tell them that we broke up (over the whole distance thing, of course.) I think that that was the moment that I totally hit rock bottom.

So anyway, that's my lament. The thing is, as I try to lament my singlness, it always occurs to me: it's my own fault. I never ask anyone out. It's the whole fear or rejection thing. Somehow, I seem to think that rejection is worse than the current situation, which I know deep down is not true. But, what can I say, girls scare me. It's who I am. The whole thought of it freaks me out. It's probably for the best though. If I was more confident, I would probablly be one of those lame guys with the pickup lines. And we certainly don't need more of that.

So yeah, thanks for listening. I PROMISE, no more than one emo post per week, and I'm going to try and cut down even more. I promise. Please don't stop coming here. Tomorrow's post will be really funny.

stolen from kevininc.com

Feb 15, 2005

my new theme song

Every time that I look at myself
I can't believe how awesome I am
I mean . . . how awesome I AM!!!!!!!!

Feb 14, 2005

happy valentine's day

Or as we like to call it around here, Happy Laugh At The Fat Guy With No Girlfriend While Eating Chocolate And Making Memories With Mr./Ms. Right Day!!!

Or, as Freddie would say, "Merry Freakin Christmas!"

Today was basically any other Monday, except I did get a card from a co-worker. It was a Scooby Doo card, one like you would get during the Valentine's Day card exchange in 3rd grade. It was pretty cool.

28. Still single. But, nothing to be too bitter about.

I did go for a walk tonight. One thing I miss living in Cincinnati is being able to see stars. But tonight, I could see a few. The cool part: I could see Orion.

In all . . . it was a good valentines day. Even if I am a lonley old man.

Feb 12, 2005

celebrity visit

Ed Ekhardt is going to be staying at MY house on Wednesday. He is coming to FOCUS!!!!!!!

What's the big deal, you may be asking. Well, he is the guy from the infamous NumaNuma video. If you don't know what that is, check it out here.

cancellation

So, after much soul searching, I've decided to cancel hyperlink survivor.

This was a tough decision, because, suprisingly, people were starting to really get into it. I probablly could have gotten some bribes out of it.

But, as I read some posts, some were really soul-searching serious stuff. And how could I assign or dock points on stuff like that.

I'll come up with another contest in a few days.

Anyway, as for the survivor competition, Ed Ekhardt wins "Post Of The Week" for his "Laugh At The Fat Guy With No Girlfriend While You Eat Chocolate With and Make Memories with Mr./Ms. Right" classic.

Good Job Ed. And thanks for all who played.

Feb 10, 2005

emo alert

Normally I try and avoid the emo. But, tonight, that's just where I am.

This week has been a wild one. I started it at the point of physcial exhaustion, due to the heavy lifting I did moving my dad's stuff this weekend. That went right into Monday, which is my long day. Beyond my physical tiredness, I've been involved in some amazing discussions over this week. Due to them, there is so much on my mind. I couldn't even begin to blog all that is inside of me right now. Some are just really cool philosophical things, and then there are some things that just hurt me to my core.

Tonight I came to a disturbing realization. Really, it's something that's been going on for a while, but tonight it just stared me straight in the eye:

I don't know how to pray anymore.

I don't mean that metaphoricaly. I mean that literally.

I don't know how to pray anymore.

It's really a tough thing to explain. It comes out of so many areas. But, in the end, everything I try to say just sounds so empty.

I'm not having a crisis of faith. I don't think that God is not there or anything like that. I just don't know how to pray.

And tonight is one of those nights where I need to pray the most. But I can't.

Luckily, I have one of the most powerful ways of expression: music. If I wasn't a musician, there, quite honestly are many situations that I never would have gotten out of. There is just something amazing about music that can express things that I feel that I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes the lyrics of a song work, as it kind of did tonight. In other cases, its just something in the melody and harmony that just really says what I want to say.

I really wish I could express more here all that's on my mind. But, much of it I just can't seem to verbalize yet.

God is good. Even if I don't know what to say to Him.

Feb 9, 2005

cheating again

So, I got in late, after midnight, thus missing another day of blogging. So, I'm cheating again.

It's okay, because I am the supreme dictator of this blog.

I have a lot in my head to write about. But, I'm saving it for later.

So really, this was a totally pointless post. I hope you enjoy it.

Survivor people: There will be an elimination of Friday at 4:00 pm. So keep your posts coming. And remember, it's journal posts, not comments on here.

Peace out

Feb 8, 2005

the big day just around the corner

1. As we all know, Monday is Valentine's Day. A game that bitter single people often like to play is "Come up with a clever, new, bitter name for V-day." Some are milder, such as "Singles Awareness Day." and some are a bit more dramatic, involving imagery from Revelation. Although I am a bitter single guy, the big V never bothered me much, so I never got into the name thing. Until today, when my buddy Ed came up with the name, "Laugh at the Fat Guy Without a Girlfriend While You Eat Chocolate and Make Memories with Your Mr./Mrs. Right Day." Pretty freakin awesome. That's what I'm calling Valentines day this year, and maybe from now on.

2. Today I learned, in my Theology class of all places, that a cross between a Chihuahua and a Dachshund is called a Chi-wiener. I found that facinating.

3. I'm doing this on a job interview some day:

4. Speaking of Ed and Valentine's day, you should read his post on his blog. And then you should go out with him. He's really awesome. I would go out with him, only I'm not a girl. But if you are, you should.

5. Off to BW3's in a couple of hours. Hanging out with the newly engaged Justin Sanford. Congratulations to him and Christina. Going to watch UK whip on Florida. I need to start posting more about Basketball. Only 20 days till March.

the bachelor pad

So tonight was one of those adventures that only happens when you live in a bachelor pad.

I'm watching CSI:Miami, when one of my roommates, who will remain un-namED walked in and said the following:

"I think I put too much detergent in the dishwasher."

Of course, it can never be good when someone says that. So, I pull myself away from David Caruso to go check it out. And sure enough, there are suds all over the kitchen floor. This leads to the following dialogue:

Me: How much detergent did you use?
UnnamED roommate: I just filled up the cup.
Me: (thinking that that is in fact not too much) What did you use?
UnnamED roommate: Ajax.
Me: (not recalling having any Ajax dishwasher detergent in the apartment) Where is it?

So, it turns out that it was in fact not dishwasher detergent, but just regular dish soap, which of course is far to concentrated for a dishwasher. But, this being a bachelor apartment that was just recently moved into, there is no mop. So, we had to look around for towels and whatever else we could find to clean up the mess.

Feb 7, 2005

hyperlink survivor

I got home at about 12:10 am last night after a weekend full of moving. I was pretty freakin exhausted. But, through my exhaustion, I came up with a brilliant idea.

I'm going to play a little game on this blog. I call it hyperlink survivor. The contestants are the links to my left.

Each time they post, they will either get AWESOMENESS points or SUCKNESS points. Awesomeness points are positive, suckness points are negative. Then, throughout the game, as points are awarded, there will be eliminations. The lowest point total will be eliminated, and that hyperlink will be turned off.

The last link standing wins. What they will win, I don't know.

What are the criteria: It's pretty freakin random. Totally depends on what kind of mood I'm in.

Eliminations will be at random intervals.

Scoring starts on posts written after 12:00am, Monday, January 7th. May the best writer win.

*NOTE* Bracks site, since it is not a blog, will not be competing. I will turn his link off as soon as I feel like it.

Feb 4, 2005

2 lessons from work

Random things I learned today:

1. Apparently, a recent study has determined that talking on your cell phone while driving reduces your reaction time to "that of elderly people." Yes, that's correct. Instead of saying it reduces it 25% or whatever, they chose to take a shot at the elderly. And of course, this begs the question "what if you are elderly and talking on a cell while driving?

2. A conversation with one of the senior partners in the firm, while I was pouring coffee into an airpot to be placed in a conference room:

Senior Partner: Those airpots really keep coffee warm.
Me: Yeah, I guess they do.
Senior Partner: You can empty those at the end of the day and it's still scalding hot.
Me: Really?
Senior Partner: Yeah, I think they have some kind of nuclear reactor in there or something.
Me: Well, they are really well insulated. The outside doesn't get hot.
Senior Partner: If you are ever going to climb Mt. Everest, you should take one of these with you.
Me: Umm, yeah.

So remember that. When you climb Everest, take an airpot.

Okay then, I'm off to Frankfort. Oh, and if you are in Cincinnati this weekend, just remember that there is NOT a suprise party at my place this weekend. If there were one, and there isn't, but if there was one, you would meet here at 6:30 and then Tommy would have gotten here at 6:45. But, there isn't one, so it's moot right??

*wink, wink*

Feb 3, 2005

i'm a horrible person

Tonight was sort of a "roommate" bonding night. About six, Brent yells upstairs, "Come down here, I'm bored." So, Ed, Brent, and I are sitting around just kinda hanging out. Then, Tommy shows up and we do some rearranging, invovling switching out the TV's in the living room.

So, we watch some TV for a while, and then Brent and Tommy leave the room and it's just Ed and me. We end up watching the Jeopardy Teen Tournament.

So now, the bad part . . .

One of the contestants is a 16 year old girl, I think her name was Caitlyn. Anyway, the "fun fact" about her during the intros is that she wants to be the first female president. Which is awesome.

So anyway, she is doing really horribly during the first round, and ends up with -$200 at the end of round one. This leads to the following dialogue:

Ed: You know, if she can't hack it on the Jeopardy Teen Tournament, she'll never make it in Iowa.

Me: You know what. I hope she finishes with a negative amount. Can you imagine 20 years from now, during the Iowa caucases, this girl is running, and then all of the sudden this Jeopardy tape pops up.

I know, I'm terrible. And the best part: Early in the round, she made her way up to $600, and then it all went downhill from there, with her ending up with -$5000.

I can't wait for 2024.

Feb 2, 2005

king for the day!!!!!

Today was one of those hectic, whirlind days. It all started at 7:45 this morning. The problem with that is that it was supposed to start at 5:45. Somehow, I missed the alarm. I was supposed to be at work at 7:00. So, I wake up, look at the clock, and then go into a panic. Of course, I'm not really all that awake. So, I start wandering around looking for my cell phone. I look in my room for a while, them go downstairs and look, then back upstairs, and repeat that for a while. Anyway, I end up at work at 8:30.

But, once I got to work, it got kinda cool. Since Mardi Gras is approaching, a few of the attorneys received king cakes via Fed Ex. Anyway, I delivered one to one of the attorneys on 17 (no, it didn't deliver itself this time, and by the time I had finished my cart, it was sitting on the counter in the coffee kitchen. So, I took a slice, bit in, and there was something hard in it. As I spit it out, it occurred to me what a king cake actually is. See, in baked into a king cake is a bean or something, in this case a little plastic baby. If you get the slice with the plastic baby, you are king (or queen) for the day. And sure enough, the hard thing I bit into was the plastic baby. Which made me king for the day. Which meant absolutely nothing. But apparently, I'm in charge of the mardi gras party next year.

Other day's highlights: free Rolly Polly, FOCUS (West Clifton group is the coolest group ever!!!)

Oh, and I didn't see my shadow this morning.

Feb 1, 2005

cheaters always win

1. So, my promise to post every weekday in February is off to a bad start. Because, it's technically the 2nd, but since I have control over the time stamp, it's the first again. So why even mention it? Because, I can't think of anything to write about.

2. Between the anti-gnome site and my slacker theory, it's been the best week ever for my theories!!!

3. Oh yeah, I haven't mentioned the gnome site. Tommy had to make a website for a class. Being a fellow anti-gnomer, he made up the anti-gnome site he and I have been dreaming about for a while now. Tommy pretty much did all the work, but he did use a draft I wrote a while back and some pictures that the Ekhardt brothers scanned. I'm honored to be a part of it. Check it out.

4. Flannel sheets are the greatest invention ever!!!!!!!!

5. The ceilings on my 2 side walls in my room are really low. So, I bump my head approximately twice a day. At this rate, by the time my lease is over, I should have nearly 12% fewer brain cells.