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Jun 19, 2006
writing In first grade, writing was my worst subject. I had some issue with coordination of my hands, or strength, or something. Even today my handwriting is pretty atrcious. In 10th grade, my English told me that while my reading comprehension was good, my writing was very week. Years later, I'm writing a book. I officially started on Thursday. I've written the prologue and part of chapter 1. Already I've learned that I'm not nearly as good a writer as I thought. It's going to take a lot of work. What's it about, you may be asking?? I'm not sure how I would describe it just yet, as it's still somewhat abstract. Basically, I've chosen about 20 of my blog entries to serve as writing prompts for various sections. It's mostly a reflection of what I've learned over the past two years, only I hope that it will be more interesting than that. So, start saving your money now!!!!! posted
by Unknown @ 10:37:00 PM Jun 18, 2006 footbale I've been watching much of the World Cup this year, thanks to digital cable and DVR. I've caught both of the US games, and several others as well. I'm not there yet, but I'm drawing a conculsion: Soccer is dumb. My reasons: 1. The second half is pointless. Every game I've seen was decided at halftime. Normally, if two teams are tied at halftime, you expect some resolution in the second half. I've only seen one goal scored in the second half so far (I'm sure there have been a few others in some games I haven't seen, but since I've caught most games late, most of my viewing has been second half viewing). 2. Red/Yellow cards. This could be a good concept, but it's not. In most sports, they threaten or eject you for a play that is flagrant, of if you are being overly obnoxious over a period of time. In soccer, this happens, well, apparently whenever the ref feels like pulling out a card. I have seen three occurnences of the same slide tackle that resulted in a. a foul, b. a yellow card, and c. a red card. I can't for the life of me tell the difference in the three. Plus, it seems that you can get ejected for just playing agressively, not necessarily for flagrent fouls. And then your team not only has to play short handed that game, but for the next one as well. 3. Own goal-- Seriously, what other sport has the potential for this? Hockey, maybe. Theoretically basketball, but it never happens. But soccer?? Important matches are decieded by own goals. So far, the only goal for the US team was scored by Italy. England won it's first match on an own goal, and they are already in the second round now. With such low scoring games, a team could potentialy advance without scoring a goal themselves. After the 94 World Cup, a player in Columbia was killed because of an own goal. 4. Substitutions-- or lack thereof. Why only 3? Part of the problem with the second half is that everyone is too tired around the 60 minute mark. I think I would like it if I quit watching games after the first 30 minutes. That's when they are decided anyway. Then I can go back to watching A-Team reruns. posted
by Unknown @ 9:48:00 AM Jun 14, 2006 faith Sometimes I wonder if I'm really a Christian. All it takes is faith, right? That's why I wonder. Do I actually have faith? How much faith does one need? How is that even quantified? James 2 complicates it for me. Actually, it clarifies a lot, but it makes me wonder about my own faith even more. James discusses the interplay between works and faith. Some think he is challenging Paul doctrine of faith only by adding a works element. James even says says that it is not only by faith we are saved, but also by works. But, he's not advocating a works system where a set of works gets you into heaven. It's not works. Rather, it's living by faith. James makes two other statemnts that help clarify. One is that faith without works is dead. And, he also says that you say you have faith, but I will show you my faith by what I do. In other words, your faith should affect your behavior. What clarifies all of this is the biblical examples that he uses, in particular the story of Abraham. He discusses the part where Abraham is told to sacrifice Isaac. So, Abraham takes Isaac to the place that God instructed him to go, made the altar, placed Isaac on the altar and was ready to preform the sacrifice. Then, God told him not to finish it. Of course, we tend to understand this in the sense of Abraham having to give up his son. That in itself makes it a compelling story. But, there is even more to it. God had made a covenant, a promise to Abraham, that through him there would be a great nation. Isaac was the fulfillment of that promise. And now, God had asked him to give up what he had promised to him. So, when Abraham put Isaac on the altar, he was placing everything on there, his hopes, dreams, and ambitions. He trusted that God would come through in his promise. He had faith. Which begs the question, if Abraham had not put Isaac on the altar, then where is his faith? That's the point that James is trying to make. James make it pretty simple. But, we don't like that answer. We prefer to have a bit of room to waiver now and then. We like to take the simple way and still be able to claim faith, that we believe. But, as James points out, even the demons beleive. And yet, there is grace. Only, faith is the prerequisite of faith, right? So again, what is faith? Or, perhaps more accurately, where is my faith. What am I willing to put on that altar? Or, maybe more importantly, what do I refuse to put on that altar. I like the version when I get to keep some of it. In the end of the story, Abraham got to keep everything. In fact, God put a ram in the bushes for Abraham to sacrifice. It didn't cost Abraham anything. The point wasn't what Abraham lost or had to give up. Rather, it's what he was willing to give up, and even more importantly who he was willing to give it to. And that's my struggle. I don't know what I would put on the line. So what does that say about my faith? posted
by Unknown @ 11:41:00 PM Jun 10, 2006 lucky charms You have questions about the Davinci Code? This site has answers. posted
by Unknown @ 4:25:00 PM be there July 29, 2006 6:30 pm the bat fancy ERIC'S 30th BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA Details forthcoming, though the following are set: Free food and beverage Midnight showing of "The Big Lebowski Mark you calanders NOW!!!!! posted
by Unknown @ 2:57:00 PM Jun 8, 2006 Jesus the politician: part 3 Jesus cared about the poor. That makes Him a socialist. At least, that's the logic that the pastor quoted in the City Beat article used. And it's true, Jesus does care about the poor. That's fairly evident in any reading of the Bible. Yet, it's also a huge oversimplification of what Jesus was and is all about. I consider myself a postmodern. Also, I consider my ministry to be primarily to postmoderns. As a result, I read a lot about postmodern ministry. I don't always agree with everything I read on the subject, but it is something that is of interest to me. In a lot of these writings, there is a theme that Jesus was primarily concerned with social justice here on earth. I didn't quite buy into that, but after reading this stuff for a while, as well as a few blogs I have been following, I figured that this contitued a high percentage of Jesus' teaching. Then, I heard Tony Campolo speak at a conference this past winter. As he talked about his political veiws, he referred to himself as a "red letter Christian" in reference to his eclectic political views (some issues he's liberal, on some he's conservative.) What he meant was that his views are shaped by the teaching of Christ rather than a political paradigm. So I wondered: what would I find if I read through the red letters. So, I read them. And, it turns out that the poor are not the major theme. The poor are most certainly in there, and the madates concerning them are very strong. But, it's not the central teaching. All of that is to say this: Jesus is far to complicated to hang a Christian political agenda on one issue. Still, taking care of the poor is part of the gospel. That much is clear. With that in mind, how do we handle the politics of the poor. Political liberals, including Christians who are politicaly liberal, generaly advocate a system in which wealth is redistributed. Those who are wealthy are taxed in order to provide services for the poor. Personally, I challenge this system on two grounds. One is fiscal, and one is moral. Both of which are based on my observations made while working within the system. I worked for Medicad for a little while. Overall, I'm glad we have Medicaid. I think it is useful. However, there are those who advocate a state run health care system, similar to that which is in Canada. I think that would be a mistake. The beuarcracy required to run Medicaid alone is crazy. It's expensive. For it to run like it should would be even more expensive than it already is. But, in pretty much every state, the claims processing system for Medicaid is contracted out to an IT company. Of course, the contact goes to whoever promises the most services for the least amount of money. And of course, it never quite works out like it was promised to. So, services aren't quite as good as they are supposed to be. And even with the lowest bid, there is still a lot of money going into it. That doesn't even consider that actual money used to pay the claims. Think of it this way: It costs a lot of money to deny a claim. And, people want to expand this system. It won't work. Even in terms of the money actually spent on the claims itself it won't work. Medical treatment is more expensive here than in Canada, for a lot of reasons that I won't go into here. But, even worse, what it would cost to make a system like that even run. And it won't run well. I know, because I was one of the people running the system. There were simply too many obstacles in our way. Even still, with a mandate to care for the poor, we have to do it, even if it is costly and inefficent, right? Except our call to help the poor isn't just to give them stuff. It's to actually dive in and share life with them. The problem with government aid programs is that they are terribly inhuman. People are numbers. They are treated as cases. That's why fraud is so high. The system doesn't deal with people. Once, Jesus was walking through a crowd, and a sick woman touched him so that she could be healed. This woman's "need" had been met, but that wasn't enough for Jesus. He turned and interacted with her. Justice in the Bible is not about needs being met. It's about people having their dignaty and humanity. And that's the problem I have with political liberalism and Christianity. I can't be content with having the government doing the work that the church called us to be doing. The government doesn't love. Only people can do that. posted
by Unknown @ 11:18:00 PM milestones Out of all of the things that have made me feel old over the past few months, I think tonight will be the big one. Maybe even bigger than my 30th birthday coming up next month. Tonight was the last FOCUS of the school year, so we had our senior sendoff thing. And tonight was a special one, as far as sendoffs go. This year we have graduated pretty much all of the founding members of FOCUS. Through all of my years involved in campus ministry, I've seen a lot of students graduate. But this group hit me in a way no other group had. In campus ministry, you get students for a couple of years and then they move on. And this is the first group that I've seen from freshman to graduate where I was in a non-student kind of role. They've meant a lot of me, and have really shaped me as a pastor. They've believed in me and encouraged me. During my time with them I've learned about who I am and what God has in store for me. I'll miss the friendships. I'll miss the sharing of lives, the hanging out, the work together in ministry. I'll miss the laughs. I'll miss watching God continue to shape each of them. So, to the class of 2006, you've been incredible. You all are going to rock the world. posted
by Unknown @ 12:14:00 AM Jun 7, 2006 more mickey rooney Question: Why is that stories about gas prices make page 1, while stories about genocide are on page 8. C'mon man, funk dat!!! posted
by Unknown @ 12:55:00 AM Jun 6, 2006 Jesus the politicial: part 2 Back in college, I had a good friend named Freddie Smith. He was one of the first friends I met in college. He put off going to college to join the army, so he was a few years older than me. My second semester, we ended up in the same Music Appreciation class. Apparently, the professor didn't know I was there (you had to be there), and since it was a 9:15 class, We would often skip or cut out early to go grab some breakfast. Breakfast was a great deal on campus in those days. I could get 2 biscuits and gravy and a Mt. Dew for about $1.79. Fred and I would talk about many things during those breakfasts. One recurring theme: he tried to convince me that I was a Republican. "It's hard to be a Christian and a liberal," he said many times. Years later, I saw a bumper sticker: Jesus was a liberal. And, even more recently, I read a quote from a pastor in City Beat, "Jesus is a socialist." I wonder what Jesus would call himself. I doubt he would identify with any of those. Today, as with his contemporaries, each group is quick to claim Jesus as one of their own, at least when it suits their needs. The difference is that his contemporaries would get angry when Jesus said or did something that went against their ideologies. Today we simply ignore it. I read recently that James Dobson would not sign a document about environmental policies that many evangelical leaders were asked to endorse. Dobson refused, but not because he disagreed with it. Rather, he thought it would take attention away from the abortion debate. Why can't you fight abortion and demand better stewardship of the environment? Because, one is a Democratic issue, and one is a Republican issue. And that's the problem. It bugs me that guys like Fallwell and Dobson on the right and guys like Jim Wallis on the left are so ingrained into these political parties, they get to a point where then end up comprimising certain issues to hold a few. Eventually, then end up even comprimising their key issues in the name of the party. For example, Wallis' group Sojurners supported John Kerry during the last election. It was supposedly because Kerry would do more for the poor, but what bothered me as I watched it all play out was the realization that Kerry didn't care about the poor. If you don't think Bush is doing enough for the poor, then fine. The right then to do is call both parties out on this issue. Jesus didn't compromise to fit in with the Pharisees, Sadducees, Esscenes, or the Zealots. He always stuck to what was right. And if you are committed to a political party, I say go for it. There's not a thing wrong with that. But always let your faith guide you, yet remember that your party is not inherently Christian. And, it's okay to disagree with your party. In that case, stand up for what is right. Fred was right. It is hard to be a Christian and a liberal. But, it's also hard to be a Christian and a conservative. posted
by Unknown @ 10:45:00 PM from great heights Don't judge us when we fall. We all fall down. posted
by Unknown @ 10:04:00 PM middle management My job has become one of the great metaphores for what may be one of the most important lesson that I am supposed to learn this year. I'm not in charge. It's not dependant on me. About a year ago, I tried to duck any leadership responsibility in my life. It was wearing on me. I just wanted to be normal. No such luck. Leadership is not the issue, so I've learned. It's this messianic complex that I've had all my life. I think it depends on me. It doesn't. I'm my own worst enemy. My harshest critic. When I took over as supervisor, I was excited to do so. I thought I would be the best ever at it. I'm not. I should have stayed put. It's a no-win situation. The reality is, I have very little control over anything. Sometimes I can fix stuff, and sometimes I can't Rarely in either case is it really dependant on me. Being in charge is such a myth. We always have to answer to someone. Which is a cool thing about my nickname, the colonel. No matter how much control I think I have, I still have to answer to someone. And, if I'm doing my job right, I'm really just following orders. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, I'm not even a colonel . . . posted
by Unknown @ 12:36:00 AM Jun 4, 2006 dreamgirl I need a woman to bring me cake from the fair. posted
by Unknown @ 10:46:00 PM Jun 3, 2006 the four that got away One became one of my best friends. I kept telling myself I didn't want to risk losing that. With the next one, we parted ways for the summer, and never got our momentum back. I got a second chance with the next one, and still didn't go for it. And with the next one, I only got one moment, but waited for the next, which never came. How many chances do we get? posted
by Unknown @ 12:48:00 AM Jun 1, 2006 great quote "What's my prediction??? Pain!" --Mr T, Rocky III posted
by Unknown @ 11:58:00 PM pre-retirement A lot of athletes do this, announce that the coming year is going to be their last. So, I will do the same. It hit me tonight that it's about time to retire. As a worship leader. So, the 06-07 school year is going to be my last as a worship leader. There are several reasons at play. The main one is that I'm just not that good at it anymore. I used to be able to go at a high level all of the time, and could play through major glitches. Now I lead at a high level occasionaly, and glitches are starting to derail me. Secondly, I'm getting old. I know I joke about it a lot, and I'm still a good ways away from really old, but as I approach 30, I have noticed that it affects things. I can't stay up all night anymore. And, I can't put the same energy level into planning, practicing, and leading a worship set. Finally, the main reason, and something that plays into the other two, is that I'm just not as passionate about is as I used to be. I'm tired of my songs. I don't like any of the new ones. Leading practice isn't as fun. All of the administative aspects aren't as fun. I'm out of ideas. Occasionally, a service will still go really well, and I'll think I can still do this. Even tonight, as we went acapella into Agnus Dei, it was a really powerful moment. But, these aren't the moments that drive me as a minister anymore. I've always known that at some point, I would step away from worship ministry to focus on teaching. I always thought that 35 would be the latest. Instead, I will be just shy of 31. I'm already feeling the tug to transition to teaching. As I've had more oppertunities to teach this quarter, I have felt a transition in myself. This time next year, I'll be looking for a full time ministry position anyway. And I've always known that worship isn't where I would end up. So, it all seems natural. One more year. Probablly somewhere between 6-10 more services. And then I'll be retired. Hopefully I can go out with a bang. posted
by Unknown @ 12:33:00 AM |
