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Jan 31, 2006
the state of the union I guess I've just become cynical. I don't really care about the state of the union address, or any other political speech given. I could have written both the President's speech tonight and the Democratic response. They are both that predictable at this point. I even thought the President's speech was really good. Predicatable, but good. There is one glaring contradiction I feel compelled to point out. It's something I've been quietly ranting about for a while. But, tonight illustrated it perfectly. Say what you will about Bush's public speaking ability, but the man is a master rhetorician. Seriously study his speeches, and the guy is probably one of the best rhetoricians in our nations political system. Just because the man has trouble pronouncing some words doesn't mean he has trouble putting them together. He speaks a lot about spreading freedom and democracy to the world, about improving the lives of people in countries oppressed by totalitarian regimes. Maybe he is sincere, I don't know. I think on some level he beleives it. Maybe he even believes this is our guiding motive. I bought into that for a while as well. It was the basis of my support for the war in Iraq. I didn't at the time, and still don't care about "weapons of mass destruction" or any of the other things that were mentioned. The fact is, mass destruction was all over Iraq, whether we found weapons or not. People numbering in the 100,000's were found in mass grave sites. They were killed by there own government that should have been protecting them. The fact is, it was not WMD's, mass graves, or even oil that took us into Iraq. The fact is, we went to Iraq because part of the overall strategy in the war on terror is stablizing the Middle East. Phase one was chase Bin Laden around Afganastan. Phase two was take on the most powerful Middle Eastern country that wasn't our "ally." Thus, we go to Iraq. We westernize them. And they are no longer a threat. I realized that about a year or so ago. So, that had some good moral and philosophical questions for me. The big question is this: The change in regime brings justice to the people of Iraq. This is a good thing, something I can support the war on. However, this was not our motive going in. But, it was an end result. So, what does this mean to my support on the war? I can't answer that now. But it is a peice of my larger point. Bush kept talking about bringing freedom and democracy to people of the middle east. He even called them our friends. He spoke of these things as if they are our motives for being over there. They are not. Not that I buy any of the left-wing theroies about our involvement. I don't. I'm not nearly that cynical. But make no mistake, the well-being of the people of Iraq or Iran is not the reason we are there. The fact is, all of this is to protect our own interests. I don't mean our interests in things such as oil, because if you understand how OPEC and things like that work, none of our actions in the Middle East have any bearing on the oil economy. The issues really are one of security. Thus, the glaring contradiction . . . early in the speech, Bush talked about how we want to improve life for people in the Middle East. I think we have. We certainly haven't fixed things. But we have opened some doors, and with a lot of work still left to be done, I think things can continue to improve. However, later in the speech, he talked about becoming less dependant on oil for the Middle East. Certainly there are some noble reasons to do this, some being environmental, and then there are other reasons. Yet, in these two statements, there is a glaring contradiction. If we make any siginificant reduction in our oil consuption, it will have a devestating effect on the economies of the countries that he just said that we want to improve the living conditions in. I'm not saying we should not explore alternative energy sources. What I am saying is that this illustrates the fact that we don't really care about what's going on in the rest of the world unless it directly relates to our interests. Look at the situation in Darfur. Our government has declared it a genocide. It is probably the biggest atrocity in the world right now. And yet we do nothing. Why? It doesn't affect us. The media doesn't report on it, so there are no political ramifications. They aren't going to attack us. There are no economic implications toward us. So, not need to attack. Overall, I like Bush. I think he's really stepped up and has been decisive in a very difficult time. But, I don't buy into his rhetoric anymore. posted
by Unknown @ 10:39:00 PM Jan 24, 2006 i love th e.r. My visit in October was so much fun, I decided to go back today. The reason: It's something that I call the 5'8" theory. Here's the thing . . . according to the last statistics I read, 5'8" is considered the average height for a male. I'm 5'10", which is not what one would consider "above average" height. But think about it . . . most things are designed for people who fall within the average. So if you look at the design of doors and cabinets and such, they are designed for average people. So two inches shouldn't make that much of a difference, right??? Most of the time, that's correct. I don't live life as a tall man. And that's really the point. Someone who is 6'2" is always watching their head, since it's so often in danger of bumping into something. For a 5'10" person like me, we live life a bit too carefree. Most of the time, things are fine, because again, we aren't "tall." But on occasion, there are certain doorways and other hazzards that are just right there at the point, that if we step with just a little too much bounce in our step, BAM!! All of this is to say, I hit my head on stuff a lot. And it's all because I'm 2 inches too tall or too short. So, today, I'm going down to the copy room to get some legal paper to stock on another floor. It's not a terribly busy day, but it's pretty steady, so I have my mind on several things that need to be taken care of within the next couple of hours. I bend down to pick up the paper, and "BAM", I hit my head on a cabinet really hard. So, it hurts really bad, as all such bumps would. But, I think I'm just going to shake it off after about a minute. And, the pain starts going down really quickly. At this point, I'm wondering if anyone in the copy room saw what happened. Because that would be really embarrasing. It turns out, someone did. And she asks if I'm okay. I said yeah, thinking that that was the case. But, then a secretary who happened to be in there tells me to move my hand so she could take a look at it. So, I do and she starts flipping out. So, I look at my hand, and there's a good bit of blood on it. So, I head for the mens room, and she says something about calling 911 and tells one of the guys in the copy room to follow me. If you are the squimish type, you may want to skip the next couple of lines. Pick it up following the next ** So, I head for the bathroom, but at this point, I can feel the blood trickling down my face. Some of it starts flowing onto the lense of my glasses, and I can see it dripping all over my shirt. It's the most I've ever bled, that I can remember. So, I get into the men's room and look in the mirror, and my face is literally covered with blood. Anyway, as I'm trying to clean some of it off, the guy from the copy room gets my boss who comes and checks it out. His opinion was that calling 911 was a bit of an overreaction, but stitches were not out of the question. So, he goes to get his car to take me to the ER. ** Anyway, as I got cleaned up, it became clear that it initially looked a lot worse than it actually was. By the time the guy from the copy room got the first aid kit, it was barely bleeding. Apparently, as many people pointed out to me, scalp wounds bleed a lot more than other wounds. That explains some of the issues I've had since I started shaving my head. We got the sinks cleaned up, got my head bandaged, and I was off to meet my boss. It probablly wasn't necessary, and if I had done this at home, I wouldn't have gone to the ER, but this being work related, they weren't taking any chances. So, I show up at Deaconess Hospital, and fill out some paperwork. They asked me a bunch of questions, and they didn't seem to happy with a couple of my answers, in particualr :Do you have a family physician?? No. And "Is your tetinus shot up to date?" I don't know. "Has it been more than 10 years?" Probablly. Anyway, so I give them a friends name as my GP, and they seemed happy with that. The tetinus shot became a recurring theme, however. Anyway, they take me back to the treatment room, where I sit for a while alone. Then a nurse comes in with more paperwork, and asks me a few questions, including the one about the tetinus shot. Then the doctor comes in, takes a quick look at my head, asks me about my tetinus shot, and then leaves. So, I sit alone for a half an hour in that room. Then, the doctor comes in and glues my head back together. That's right, glue. No stitches or staples. Just glue. Pretty cool. Then, I wait another 15 minutes, and the nurse comes back with some instructions, and a form to give to my employer. And then, she gives me a tetinus shot. Good for 10 more years. Bring on the rusty nails!!!! So, a few observations: 1. I went almost a year and a half without health insurance. The ironic part is that I worked for medicaid for a lot of that time. Anyway, in that time, nothing ever happened. In the past 5 months, when I started working full time and became covered by health insurance, I have had 2 trips to the ER. 2. I think the show ER was very misleading. There should have been a lot more scenes with people sitting in a room by themselves. 3. My head has glue on it. 4. It will be a few weeks before I get to shave my head again. 5. They seemed really worried about the tetinus shot. 6. Rumor has it that "Hard Hat" is going to be my new nickname at works So, anyway, after all of that, I have to go back to work for the final 3 hours of my shift. Eventful day. But, I'm fine. posted
by Unknown @ 11:21:00 PM Jan 17, 2006 pickup lines from tony soprano "If my dentist looked like you, I'd stay awake during a root canal." posted
by Unknown @ 12:10:00 AM Jan 15, 2006 wandering I don't know where I'm going. It's hard to describe how I'm feeling these days, or to describe "what's going on." Things aren't bad, things aren't great. Except that in reality, things are really all across that spectrum. So, I guess more accurately, I'm not bad, and I'm not great. In all honesty, I don't think average is even and apt description. Average would indicate the presence of something. I can't say I even feel that. Here is the strange part though . . . every day, I am struck by the "little things," as the old cliche goes. I am noticing all of the things we are told we should notice in everyday life. They resonate with me. I mediate on them. But in the end, I can't do the math and add it all up. I get the parts. I don't get the sum. It's like my life is a yahoo! map. It is zoomed all of the way in. I can't see very far at all. Maybe the most frustrating part is that I feel that at this point in my life, I should be much farther down the road than I am. Only it doesn't frustrate me anymore. I'm not frustrated. I'm not content either. I'm nothing. Sometimes I wonder if I've failed at life. What does that even mean though? The problem with this entire post is that none of it is even accurate. What is really going on is much more vague. I can't even begin to describe or make sense of it; this is my feeble attempt. Wednesday night a FOCUS, John was talking about the book of Joshua, and made the analogy of us stepping out in faith and crossing the Jordan, like the Israelites did. He asked us what "river" we need to cross. I didn't have an answer. I still don't. I don't even see a river on my map right now. I don't know where I am on my map. The obvious answer is that God does see the big picture and is guiding me. I don't know if I beleive that or not, though. I know it's true. I just don't know that I live my life as though I believe it. That's what faith is. But sometimes it seems as though I can't step out in faith when I don't know what direction I'm supposed to step in. Maybe I'm oblivious to the obvious. So, to sum things up, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm talking about, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for. I don't know what I'm thinking and I don't know what I'm feeling. Maybe it's a case of I don't even know who I am . . . . . . It's interesting the where the process of writing takes you sometime. I had not intended to write about identity, but it just came up. Which is interesting, because I have been thinking a lot about identity lately, but I hadn't made the connection. Lately, I've been stuggeling with not wanting to be me. I've wanted to escape and be someone else for a while. It's interesting because in the past feeling like this tend to come from focusing on my weaknesses. This time it's coming from the more "positive" side. Or at least I think so. One example is at work. Lately, I haven't wanted to be supervisor. For some of the reason listed above, I just haven't felt like dealing with the responsibilities involved. Here's the problem though--title or no title, I can't really escape it. Even if I were to step down, it wouldn't matter. Back in the summer, when I wasn't supervisor, I still, on some scale, had to deal with this role. If there is one lesson I've learned over the past year, it's that I'm a leader whether I want to be or not. It's the reality of my existence. I suppose if I worked hard enough, then maybe I could tank it. Maybe not. There is plenty about my personality that should prevent me from ever being in any type of leadership role. But, I always find myself in that situation. Sometimes I just want to slip away and lay low for a while. Sometimes I just don't want to be me. But, as John preached a couple of weeks ago, God's charge to us is "Remember who you are." Which can be very comforting. Or very intimidating, depending on who and where you are (in life, not geographically). The other thing I've learned over the last year is that who I am is a lot more complicated that I ever could have imagined. And, I think this is the vague part . . . I haven't really gotten a grip on who I am. I have a bunch of peices that I can't seem to put together to make any coherent image. I think the best and yet the hardest thing is that I have to press on, even when I want to lay low. Whatever my mission, I don't have the option of escaping. Which is good, given how lazy I am. I still don't have a clue. posted
by Unknown @ 11:50:00 PM Jan 11, 2006 holiday cheer  Hanging out with Jaxen at Christmas posted
by Unknown @ 6:26:00 PM Jan 9, 2006 forcasting As with any new year, I've been looking at my life to this point, and I noticed a trend. With that, I am able to make the following prediction: It will be sometime in the spring/summer of 2011 when the next female will be interested in me. I'll be ready this time!!!! posted
by Unknown @ 6:53:00 PM Jan 3, 2006 no resolve here Since I always break them anyway, I have come up with the following New Year's Resolutions: I will not better myself in any way in 2006! I'm not going to lose weight! I will not find a girlfriend! I will not put more effort into school! I am not going to become more organized! I will not read my Bible this year! I will have no ambition in 2006!!!!!!!!! posted
by Unknown @ 12:25:00 AM |
