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May 16, 2006
what do i know I'm the guy who knows the answers. I'm the guy who knows what to do. I'm the guy who can fix it. I've found myself in that situation a lot lately. Much of it at work, but it also spills over into other aspects of my life. Lately, I've wondered how much of it is the expectation of others and how much of it I project upon myself. It's true, I have a bit of a messianic complex. That's interesting, considering my level of self esteem (although as Mel pointed out one night, I'm like dental fillings, which is another post for another time.) Then again, maybe my lack of confidence is rooted in having expectations of myself that are unattainable. Only I meet these expectations quite often. I don't define myself by my failures, I define myself by my fears. Which takes me back to my personality being a paradox rather than a logical progression. I know I am my own worst enemy. Along my journey it is my shadow self that I must defeat. Yet I wonder if that is where my fears actually lie. My point is this: I see a major situation coming up. I know there are a bunch of voices that want to be heard. I can't figure out if I am the one to speak for them or not. I feel like I am the one who is supposed to be the one to fix this, but I wonder if this is something that I have projected on myself, or if I truely am the go to guy. Or, are these doubts merely doubts in myself. Am I afraid of failure, or am I just afraid. And yes Ed, the crisis of faith montage music has been going through my head throughout this entire post. posted
by Unknown @ 12:55:00 AM |
