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Apr 29, 2005
the utility guy On my softball team, I don't have a set position. I'll probablly be playing some at pitcher, 1B, SS, and maybe some in the OF. If you don't follow follow sports, such a player is known as a utility man. It occured to me the other day that I am a ultility guy in most areas of my life. Take worship team as an example. I fill in as a worship leader/vocalist, guitar player, bass player, harmonica player, occasionally as a keyboard player and a sound guy. I'm a utility guy. This occured to me as I was playing bass the other day . . . because I don't get asked to play bass because I am a good bass player, I get asked because I am available. When I was in choir in high school, I was bumped around between bass and tenor, as the needs were there. My senior year, I sang high tenor in male chorus even though I didn't have the range. I was a utility guy. In psych class, whenever we would take the personality invintories, I would always score right in the middle of multiple categories. On the Meyers Briggs, I would usually score a bit higher as an introvert, but on the other three categories, Sensing - Intuition, Thinking - Feeling, Judging - Perceiving, I would score about 50/50 on them, so I never got my cool INTJ acronym. On Smalleys personality inventory, I scored evenly on Lion, Golden Retriever, and Otter (very low on Beaver, though). This happens consistenly on most of these things. I don't have a niche. I'm not the funny guy, I'm not the smart guy, I'm not the talented guy. But I can fill any of these categories if I have to. I'm too liberal to be a conservative, and too conservative to be a liberal, both politically and theologicaly. I don't fit in with any political groups. I don't fit in with any denominations. As all of this began to click with me, it explained a vague feeling I've had for a while. I can fit in just about anywhere, but I never really quite fit in. I know it sounds weird . . . I think so too. It's hard to explain. But for a long time now, I've been struggeling to find my place. But it seems that every open spot doesn't quite fit my shape. I've versitle enough to somewhat squeeze in, but ultimately it leaves too many cracks. Its kind of lonely, really. I don't know why. I have no reason to feel lonely. So, I just keep on wandering. posted
by Unknown @ 2:21:00 PM |
