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May 24, 2004
I'm Bored
I have a serious case of writer's block. I think it's because I'm bored. I've been disconnected from any type of ministry for nearly 9 months. I think the break has been good for me. This time last year, I was pretty burned out. With school, my paid church stuff and my non-church stuff, I had taken on way too much. And everything had suffered, especially my paid church stuff. If school had gone 2 more weeks, I would have snapped. But school ended at just the right time. But then, I started the Target gig, and it messed up my sleep so much that I was a zombie all summer long. So, a nice slower pace was nice. I still haven't decided if I regret leaving Cincinnati or not. Part of me does, but part of me remains convinced that my time was indeed up. UCC and FOCUS have definately been fine without me. I've been less fine without them though. I've been bored over the last year. While I've recovered from burnout, I've become lazy. Granted, I've always been lazy. But it's a different kind of lazy. I have a TV schedule now. I haven't had a TV schedule in almost a decade (except, durning college me and my friends would gather at my apartment and watch Fox's Sunday lineup. But that was a relational thing.) I used to walk a lot. Now I don't. I don't play my guitar or keyboard often anymore. Worst of all, I don't really have any friends that I do anything with. Blogs and live journals have become my social life. It hasn't been all bad though. God has taught me a lot about faith over the year. I've been doing a "rapid fire" reading of the Bible. I started in mid-November and should be finished fairly soon (I got kinda lazy in March.) I haven't been picking it apart or anything . . . just kinda getting the overveiw of how God has worked. It's been pretty cool. I've gotten to hang out with my parents over the last year a lot more. I think at some point I'll come to appreciate that more than I do right now . . . kinda like the extra 2 years I got with my brother when he came to WKU. Mostly though, I have this vision and passion building up in me and no place to do anything with it. It's tough to work so hard toward a goal only to face rejection after rejection. Rejection is my biggest fear. Maybe there is a reason to all of this. Wow . . . I feel better now. I'm still kinda bored though. posted
by Unknown @ 10:57:00 AM |
